And she says this type of thing throughout the day.
It doesn't matter though. She doesn't mean any harm by it. And throughout the day I felt the banter was good with people and we all got on pretty well.
The way I see it, there's a good analogy about the same kind of stick I get for my beard! People are just teasing and having a bit of a joke, I could get all up in arms about it and say, "You can't say those things about bearded people! That's BEARDIST!! I find these comments deeply offensive!" But it's quite understandable that I'd be laughed at even more.
I'm sure if people at work knew I was gay they would either stop using derogatory gay words, or they'd just tease me in a different way. That's fine.
There was also an interesting point when two people were joking about who I fancied at work, one suggested a girl there and I said, slightly in mock offense, "People around here keep making assumptions about me". It was kinda, almost coming out! Sorta. Under my breath. Sorta, kinda.
Oddly though, one of my work colleagues replied (equally in a faint mumble), "You should just tell people, or it'll make it worse."
That kinda caught me off guard. 1. Because it was a very fair comment that hits the nail on the head with all this shit I've been writing about the last few days. 2. Because the way this person said it, it made it seem like they already knew. ...
I sort of sensed a slight change in the atmosphere after that, but it could have been purely imagined. A change, only in that there was a period of less banter and more quiet. Who knows if that was the collective consciousness of the room readjusting itself to these new revelations, or merely an increased sense of awareness on my part at the mild feeling of a cat being let out of a metaphorical bag. It might have just been one of the many points throughout the day when people just get on with work.
Hmmm.
One thing today I was pretty uncomfortable with was when another girl at work was kinda picked out and picked on for the amount of work she's done recently. We're all pretty much in earshot of each other, so it was slightly cringe worthy in places it seemed a bit like humiliation. Clearly it is all about keeping people on their toes and reminding us that we'll get the same treatment if we slip up! But still, is that really necessary? I know she felt pretty shitty after that.
Anyway, I've had some quite supportive comments (and a phone call) from friends in the last few days. I just want to say I don't feel like a "victim" or isolated, or helpless, or alone (any more. I'm not sure if I did feel "alone" but I definitely felt a bit victimised and probably unnecessarily).
So thanks very much people!!
I'm not sure how to progress with things in work, but I don't plan to make some big announcement, there's obviously no need. I have a feeling things will just work themselves out naturally. I'm not going to force it and hopefully no one else will feel the need to pressure me into saying or acting in some way I'm not comfortable with.
And we can all get on with our lives!
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