Day 92

OK, so I'm at the 3 month mark. Or past it, given that some months are 30 days long and others are 31. It's day 92! That's 1 day over 13 weeks!

Still not a drop of alco-mo-hol has passed these hairy lips. No booze has crossed the bearded forest of my face and reached the open mouth hole within. No river of nectar has graced the hedging of face fuzz to access the mouthy gateway. Not a splash of moonshine has been privy to the cavernous toothy dungeon. Mere alcohol does not thrill me at all. No!

So that's good.

London was frikkin'-awesome-sausages-lawl!!!11 <--- intentional comedy typo in case you aren't "down with these things." I was pretty good regarding my diet. Well good considering I practically just starved myself.

Well that's not true, but I didn't have any sweets or junk (crisps, buns etc.). I did have some chicken noodles in Leicester Square, a fry in Kennington, a McD's on Oxford Street (ouch!!) and a meatball panini in Trafalgar Square (which was lovely) and that was it for the weekend. Felt like very little, though maybe it doesn't sound like it. I'm a big boy, you know!

Friday I got to see Jerry Sadowitz and it was great. Exactly what I hoped for and so much more. It's frustrating trying to explain how good this guy was to people who have never seen him. He has very little internet presence, I believe he probably has an agent (or two) who make sure NO videos of him exist online and it seems to make sense, given how unique his routine is.

His material was non-stop, he delivered it like a man who has spent years perfecting his craft and I felt I was in the presence of an absolute genius.

Of course it was also incredibly offensive, but it was offensive to all classes and all races and all ages, sexes, pretty much eqaully. He certainly slagged off himself enough too. Anyone who gets all uppity and offended by Jerry Sadowitz is a c***... Err... I mean, they're missing the point I think.

Anyway, he was amazing and I felt getting to see him live was a unique and special experience that many will never get to have, and that's both kinda pleasing and sad at the same time.

I also got to hang out with some cool dudes.
Checked out plenty of bars and clubs.

Also seen the Tate Modern which was loverly. I especially loved the BIG stuff. The big table and chairs, the red room: things that took a while to explore and were physical. I could have easily spent a lot longer in there and hopefully next time I will!

Sunday before I flew back to Belfast I did a few touristy things, (Whitehall, Downing Street, London Eye, Big Ben etc.) and I was a bit upset that I didn't stay until Monday

Since being back in Belfast though, I've been a bit upset that I don't live in London!
I'd love to move back. I'd have to get a job over there, so maybe that's something to focus on for a while. I'm very keen to go back in March and I'm already planning a trip. I just need to raise a wee bit of cash for it.

In other news, still worried about my lack of work in the last few weeks. I had a shift yesterday, but that only makes 3 this month. Not really enough hours to survive on, grim.

Anyway, off to band practice with Hexxed I go.
Later a bit of a house warming party.
Things ain't so bad actually.

*smilie face*

Day 83 - More On London

Google Street View is class. I can now see exactly where I'm staying in London and know exactly how I'll get there from the station.

It's bizarre being able to see everything in such detail before I've even left the house. The local shops, the locals, the size of the streets, the housing, etc.

I can also see how far I'll need to walk to get supplies, what kind of area I'm staying in (not good actually) and my chances of getting stabbed when I venture outside (quite good actually).

Fun!

So on Friday I'm going here, here, hanging out with chums and then going to see this nutcase.

Saturday I'm going to this (can't wait!) and then probably a bit of this. Yeo!

Day 81

Organising my trip to London seriously today, checking timetables to make sure I get to the airport on time, printing out booking reference numbers and small maps of where I'm staying etc. something happened to me while I downloaded a PDF of the London Underground that was most surprising and perplexing dear reader:

I got nervous!

I got nervous?

Yes, I got nervous.

I got incredibly nervous at the realisation that I'm going to be travelling around London on my own when I arrive on Friday. Big bad London!

When I booked this trip a couple of months ago, I was thinking about all the old haunts with a mixture of nostalgia and cynicism, but at the same time I wanted to go and see some of those cool places I never really got round to seeing when I lived there and maybe take in some of the 'old haunts' that I actually did enjoy.

Now that it's becoming a reality, I'm a mess. This is really not like me.

I like travelling on my own. I like to see new places on my own. I'm not intimidated by having only myself for company.

So what is going on?

Perhaps, last time I was in London (2005) I was a very different person and yet I fear that going back and seeing these old places (and some old faces) I'm going to be brought back into that state of mind, rather unwillingly. In fact, kicking and screaming.

I want to believe I am not that person anymore. I have changed a lot in the last 5 years.
But have I really?

This is like some sort of test. Not a holiday.

In a sense, I feel I want to move back there. I am feeling that same (possibly misguided) concept of London as this excellent place, with EVERYTHING I could ever want and endless places and exciting people to meet.

Yet, it's combined with this feeling of having to just plan out a weekend and behave just like a tourist.

What the ferk is wrong with me?

I'm just excited I guess. I can't wait!

Day 79

I'm still staying sober and it's still going great.

The weather has had me indoors and lazing about a lot. I haven't been given any work in the last two weeks, which is now a really serious concern. I've been to Dublin with my sister and that was good. Possibly going to be living there for a couple of weeks in March, so that's also very good!

I spent a bit of time with my immediate family and that's been good too.

I've been reading regularly again recently: I always have a book on the go.

I've been trying a "self-help" type thing, which is definitely having some positive effects, though it requires a lot more work from me that I'm not giving, as of yet. Details at another time (when I've fully made my decision on whether it's really worth it and worth sharing, or whether it's all a crock.)

I'm also trying to diet a bit, or at least cut down on sugar. I want to lose my tubby belly. Afterall, I have to look like a well-toned ROCK GOD in the not-so-distant future, when my two bands, Hexxed and Fragile Human Organs, start performing live! So it's time to stop eating bags of sugary sweets and all that kinda stuff. :sadface:

Although, without ANY sugary stuff, what does that leave me to drink in bars? Water? Perhaps I'll make an exception for fruit cordial or pure fruit juice.

I want to get a proper coffee machine (still) and at the same time I might buy myself some scales, so that I can take the idea of losing a wee bit of weight a tiny wee bit more seriously. I also have an ever growing list of new gear that would be very useful for the bands, some are important things regarding setup etc, others are just things that make me go "I WANT I WANT I WANT". Sigh.

All the more reason I need some way of making a living out of my 'little music hobbie' (Pah!).

Anyone need a DJ?

Shameless. I know.

In other news, I can't wait to be heading to London for the weekend, this Friday!
I'm really looking forward to meeting a couple of people and hopefully seeing some cool things.
I'm also just looking forward to getting away from Belfast for a couple of days, and so anything else is a bonus, but I suspect it's going to be a great time.

Day 70

Sober 10 weeks! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

Well I've been very cold the last few days here in my room and today I found out exactly why:

I can actually see outside through the gap around my window frame! No wonder the heating isn't doing anything. Well, we've had a guy here today who's going to sort a few things out and hopefully the window will be too, in about 10 days. Watch this space! Fingers crossed etc.

In other news, umm well not much to report. I'm being very lazy, partly because all hell has frozen over outside and I just want to stay warm and cosy. The ice looks deadly and the snow hasn't helped. I love snow, but the weather just puts the idea of going outside far from my mind.

So I've been diddling about a wee bit with music type "things", though obviously I could be doing a lot more. I've basically become a complete recluse and have been losing any sense of focus or direction. All the small things I've been doing, have just bled into one continuous casual activity and I'm not sure if that's good or bad. It's bad in that my pace has been very, very slow and I'm not challenging the bigger projects that need done, but on the other hand, it's good because I'm getting through things and not feeling they are difficult at all. Casual chores and creative ideas are happening without too much need for a big push or fuss, so surely that's a good thing? Maybe. Hopefully. Possibly. Sssshhmmmeee...

I'm wondering about my weekend to London. If the weather will permit it. I hope so. I've been looking forward to this trip for ages.

It's interesting how taking a plunge and booking a trip in that spontaneous way, has actually had the opposite effect on me: Instead of being so impulsive about everything (especially money, which is normally a big problem for me), I've actually been reasonably responsible in the last couple of months. Basically it's because I know I have to keep money aside for my trip, but I like how, having something to look forward to, keeps me a little more stable, financially at least.

So the point is, I need to more book trips away! Obviously.

2010 - Day 67

Sober for 67 days. Going strong. Thanks for all the recent donations folks, I really appreciate it!

Things in recent happenings of newsy stuffage:

Worked 1st Jan 2010, doing a 17 hour shift. Fun!

Followed swiftly by, and with only 2 hours sleep, a trip to Dublin for the day with my brother. Saw the Irish National Gallery (lots of meh paintings about religion and shiz, I quite liked the architecture of the place though) and visited the Guinness Storeroom (lots of meh information about how Guinness is made, followed by a lovely view from the "Gravity Bar" at the very top of the place). It was freezing and icy and overall I think we had a nice day out but also felt like we could have seen a lot more. Although as my bro pointed out, a lot of the tourist stuff didn't really look that interesting, it was more just about ticking boxes.

Still, I wouldn't mind going back (a lot earlier though) and seeing more of the other galleries (like the Modern Art Museum and the Photography Gallery etc.), the Zoo and the castles too!

So that was Saturday.

Saturday night I took a risk and ventured out on my own and was well chuffed to bump into some buddies. We all had good banter and a bit of a laugh. Then at 3am I decided to walk home as I wasn't in the mood to wait and fight for a taxi.

Got in about 3:30 and finally got some kip!

My sleeping pattern has been completely up the left since and so I've done bugger all else except chat with people online and watch films. It's now 4:25am and so as you can tell, I've still not sorted my sleeping pattern out, which means I'm going to go to bed in a moment and sleep until about noon. Meaning, I will probably end up doing fuck all again. Tsk, tsk, tsk. This is not how I planned to spend the beginning of 2010. No, no.

In other news, practice with Hexxed and Fragile Human Organs will be starting back again very soon. Along with some other ongoing music / sound design bits and bobs. Just need to get out of this sleepy lazy rut...