Day 115

Some of the feedback I got after doing the Feile FM interview (which was part of The Vinny Hurrell Show, incidentally) was that I could have been clearer about the benefits I've noticed since I quit drinking alcohol.

So in the last 3 months of being sober, what changes have I noticed?

- The first change I noticed was subtle. Like a cloud of fog being lifted from my day to day thinking and perception of things. I guess you could say, I immediately noticed the negative side-effects of alcohol (and at that specific time, the drugs I had recently used) fading away.

- I felt more positive. As soon as I started this I felt positive because I knew I was making a life changing decision and was enthusiastic and motivated, but over a longer period of time I have noticed a permanent positive attitude develop and noticed that I'm able to handle life challenges easier. Stress and depression are now less dominant forces in my life. The only word to describe it really, is that I've begun to feel "normal". I suppose normal isn't necessarily a good thing, in terms of a personality trait, but as far as internal mental stability is concerned I think it's definitely not a bad thing.

- I've saved money. I don't make a lot of money in my current job and I'm really bad at managing my cash. So not breaking out in sweats at the ATM because I've forgotten just how much money I've blown on partying, helps a lot with stress levels. Having money to pay the bills is good. Having more to do other stuff is even better.

- Still getting to experience all the stuff I love about going out: Socialising. Seeing and hearing great live music / art / culture / banter. Having fun, memorable, life affirming nights out! Not having a hangover the next day. Remembering how good it was, weeks down the line!

- Health benefits. People have commented that I have lost weight. Recently I've changed the amount of sugary junk food I eat and I've definitely cut down on eating so much crap, so I do think I'm losing a wee bit of weight. I haven't measured how much though. Other health benefits: I know my liver isn't getting punished so hard. I drink lots of water everyday, this is also because keeping hydrated is good for the vocal cords too, (I pee a lot!)

According to this BBC "Healthy Living" report some risks from alcohol consumption are:

"Raised blood pressure which increases the risk of Stroke; stomach disorders; depression and emotional disorders; cancers, particularly of the mouth, throat and gullet; hepatitis and cirrhosis of the liver; malnutrition;"

So I'm benefiting from less risk of all that stuff!

- I've become more confident. Having less depression, stress, anxiety, self-doubt, paranoia, has meant I've felt more confident when meeting new people and have enjoyed making new friends and find it so much easier to have genuine bonds of trust with people I admire and share common interests with.

- My weekly routine is more organised. Given that my weeks aren't broken up with these "lost weekends" of binging, or midweek tipples, I have had no real excuse for being so lazy and disorganised. This area still needs work for sure, but I have been a lot better at organising myself and this means more time for the things I love: Since I quit drinking I've been involved in the following music projects:

Hexxed (practicing with the band once a week in preparation for the launch of the new album around May 2010)

Fragile Human Organs (recording vocals and practicing with band. Our new EP is online now)

QUBe 2010 (a Queen's Uni Ensemble started up again recently, I perform voice and effects)

Working with Crucible Pictures on an animation series called Haven.

Experience on the production team at Queen's Radio

Work placement at Windmill Lane Studios, Dublin

Getting an awesome weekend away to London.

Seeing countless cool gigs and shows!

There are loads of other things I can't think of right now, but I'm sure you can read all about them in this blog! The obvious point I'm making here, is that in the last 3 months I've done plenty of great things I'm quite proud of and I've never been so happy to be so busy in my life and I think I owe a lot of this to my decision to stay sober for a year.

This is also why I can't truthfully say the last 3 months has been difficult. I've seen nothing but good things come of my decision to stay sober. When people talk to me about it, they sometimes say, "I wouldn't mind trying that" or "I think I'll give that a go at some point", I often get the impression they think it would be some difficult experiment. I'm sure I even had similar thoughts to that before I started, but it's been such an easy ride. It's been all good and that it makes it hard for me to honestly call this a 'challenge' at all really.

And when asked if I'll go back on the drink after the year, I honestly don't think I will.

Saying all that, I think the main reason I've seen such significant changes, is directly related to how I react to these chemicals: I have definitely learnt through my experiences of drink and drugs that I am a lot more susceptible to their negative side-effects. Even caffeine effects me in extreme ways. And I believe this relates to various mental illness issues I've had experience with from about 10 years ago, until fairly recently.

So hopefully that's being a bit more clear about the benefits of my progress so far. In summary: I've experienced nothing but positive things since becoming sober!

I'm always keen to hear feedback from anyone reading this though, so please throw me your "two cents" worth, anytime.