Sober 10 weeks! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
Well I've been very cold the last few days here in my room and today I found out exactly why:
I can actually see outside through the gap around my window frame! No wonder the heating isn't doing anything. Well, we've had a guy here today who's going to sort a few things out and hopefully the window will be too, in about 10 days. Watch this space! Fingers crossed etc.
In other news, umm well not much to report. I'm being very lazy, partly because all hell has frozen over outside and I just want to stay warm and cosy. The ice looks deadly and the snow hasn't helped. I love snow, but the weather just puts the idea of going outside far from my mind.
So I've been diddling about a wee bit with music type "things", though obviously I could be doing a lot more. I've basically become a complete recluse and have been losing any sense of focus or direction. All the small things I've been doing, have just bled into one continuous casual activity and I'm not sure if that's good or bad. It's bad in that my pace has been very, very slow and I'm not challenging the bigger projects that need done, but on the other hand, it's good because I'm getting through things and not feeling they are difficult at all. Casual chores and creative ideas are happening without too much need for a big push or fuss, so surely that's a good thing? Maybe. Hopefully. Possibly. Sssshhmmmeee...
I'm wondering about my weekend to London. If the weather will permit it. I hope so. I've been looking forward to this trip for ages.
It's interesting how taking a plunge and booking a trip in that spontaneous way, has actually had the opposite effect on me: Instead of being so impulsive about everything (especially money, which is normally a big problem for me), I've actually been reasonably responsible in the last couple of months. Basically it's because I know I have to keep money aside for my trip, but I like how, having something to look forward to, keeps me a little more stable, financially at least.
So the point is, I need to more book trips away! Obviously.
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Well done Martin - really glad to hear that you are still off the electric soup. Hope your window is sorted soon... my teeth are chattering just thinking about how cold your gaff must be! Take care and enjoy your trip.
ReplyDeletecheers James. It is still freezing in here :( but hopefully it'll be sorted soon.
ReplyDeleteI think what you're doing is fantastic. I've been sober since 20/05/2009 after spending most of my adult life thus far (I'm 23) battling (read: denying!) severe depression and alcoholism - and it's going pretty good, I still go out and have a social life, shake my arse and generally party on down without the alcohol, I feel self concious sure, but then I remember most people don't give a f*ck coz they're too busying enjoying themselves aswell.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard work staying sober, whilst at the same time trying to pretend you're "normal" like everyone else, but I wouldn't swap my worst days now for my best days back then, and the things worth having in life are the ones worth fighting for, for me thats my sobriety and sanity. (the Cheryl Cole song quote there is entirely unintentional btw!)
Hats off to you sir, maybe we'll bump into each other in town and share a fizzy pop (Red Bull is my drink of choice btw)
I'll make a donation as soon as I get paid, coz I'm too skint now to give anything halfway decent!
Brilliant to hear that Christine. You've basically summarised how the last 70 odd days have felt for me, perfectly!
ReplyDeleteI used to suffer pretty strong bouts of depression and feeling quite un-motivated and mopey whenever I went of my weekend binges, but I've felt really good since quitting and so actually staying off alcohol has felt really good for me. I'm finding it far too easy, truth be told.
My one word of advice would be to hold on to that feeling, remember it and how good it feels, it'll stand you in good stead if you ever want to go on the drink again for some reason! :-)
ReplyDeleteThis is also why I wanted to get a charity involved: To put a bit of pressure on me not to give up.
ReplyDelete